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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

NCIS Rules

From NCIS one of the best programmes on TV right now. Since it is a Navy CIS it can investigate any crime involving Navy personell fromnormal police work, to helping out veterans to stopping terrorist attacks on anybody up the the Commander in Chief. However it is not the open format that makes it more than the run of the mill police procedurals but the characters, particularly Gibbs (the boss), Ducky (David "what did he look like when he was young? Illya Kuryakin" MacCallum & Abby an improbably goth forensic scientist.

Anyway here are Gibbs rules, some of which show the signs of more than 1 writer being on the job. The most often repeated one is the last unnumbered one "never apologise" which actually I firm;y disagree with since if you never do so you never learn, but is taken from John Wayne.

Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together.
Rule #1: Never screw (over) your partner.
Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
Rule #3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check.
Rule #3: Never be unreachable.
Rule #4: If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third-best.
Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie.
Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.
Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife. Rule #11: Leave when the job is done
Rule #12: Never date a co-worker.
Rule #13 Never, ever involve lawyers (first heard of in 6.07 Collatoral Damage)
Rule #15: Always work as a team.
Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.
Rule #22: Never, ever interrupt Gibbs in interrogation.
Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee.
Rule #38: Your case, your lead.
Rule #?: Never say you're sorry.

Rule #?: Never say you're sorry.

This rule is actually correct in some situations. If you are being pursued by a group that will use any honest apology against you then it is better to not apologize, even if you are wrong. An honest apology leaves a man vulnerable, and can therefore only be extended to those you trust will not use it to destroy you.
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